Wayne ing Moments

Free promotion for A Life Gone Awry: My Story of the Elan School, to raise awareness of abusive treatment programs

2012-02-06T11:21:00.000-08:00

Date: February 10, 2012 12:00PM -- February 14, 2012 12:00PM
RSVP by: February 14, 2012 11:59AM
Venue: Amazon, US
Type: other
Website: http://alifegoneawry.com/
Added by: Wayne Kernochan

description
There were 11 more deaths in the name of drug treatment in 2011. This is unacceptable. I'm asking my friends to share this event, and help me to bring awareness to the Troubled Teen Industry.

Please help

Review of A Life Gone Awry: My Story of the Elan School

2012-02-03T22:42:00.000-08:00

http://plaidearthworm.blogspot.com/2012/02/first-friday-aw-review-life-gone-awry.html

Got a review of A Life Gone Awry. Very cool :)

Street Life: My Story free for 5 days

2012-02-01T03:38:00.000-08:00

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0072NXJDI

This was my best seller. People have responded well to it. The reviews are very positive. I consider it the better of my three books.

If you already have it, tell a friend. I could use the numbers :)

Thank you

Elan School opening back up?

2012-01-26T17:09:00.000-08:00

Put this logo http://www.elanschool.com/

Next to this one http://www.ibicuy.com/

Ibicuy is owned by an ex resident.

His words: " will love to hear from people from that time after I graduated went back to argentina and in 1984 started my own program www.ibicuy.com being at elan cahanged my life.... of course Im still at the program....life is a program. god bless joe and all the angels that saved me at elan. kisses juan"

More of his words, from a Face Book group, concerning the property at Poland Springs being up for sale.

DeForest Wayne reduced to $850k - whatta bargain!!
July 26, 2011 at 6:29pm · Like · 2

Juan Ferreira I can buy it and open again !!!! will need help
August 10, 2011 at 11:44am · Like · 1

Juan Ferreira I did it in argentina in1983 http:// www.ibicuy.com
August 10, 2011 at 11:44am · Unlike · 2

There's more to the story.

Thanks for reading if you did

Self Publishingness

2012-01-23T12:41:00.000-08:00

I felt indebted to put A Life Gone Awry back on Amazon, and I've made some early sales, thank you all :)

I wasn't going to republish Street Life, but this was so easy that I began reading it again last night, and I've decided to put it back on as well. Street Life was selling one or two in a week long after I stopped promoting it. People like it, and I think it's a good book.

Keeping busy and writing the love story

Hope everyone is having a great day :)

Rereleasing A Life Gone Awry

2012-01-21T00:31:00.000-08:00

I've had a parting of ways with my publisher, and it wasn't nice, so it's best for me not to comment.

Onward :)

I published A Life Gone Awry to Kindle Something-or-other, last night, and I'm sure I'll get screwed for money since it's Amazon, but I don't care. If they're going to get rich off of it, they'll help me get it out there for people to read

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007055KA8/ref=tsm_1_fb_lk

If I was in this for the money, I'd have probably hung myself by now

It will be priced at $2.99, and again, the money will go to organizations that fight abuse of children in residential treatment programs, and to the Jani Foundation, to help parents of mentally ill kids who are struggling.

I've given away $100 in the past two months, and have just received another royalty check, and will give away another $75. I thank my friends and fellow survivors for their generosity. The thanks I've received are all yours.

Anyway, nothing is easy in my life, so why should this be different?

More research, and love, and good times :)

2012-01-16T18:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the wife and I discussed Tiramisu and coffee with the owner of the Turkish grocery store. When the subject of writing came up, I told him about my new work in progress, and he did something most of my friends don't do. He asked me to tell him more :D

I told him how researching Islam has opened my eyes, and how wonderful Muslim people have been to us over the past few weeks. He hugged me and gave us a box of dates :)

This morning, the man at the Lebanese store asked us to come back at 5PM because he wanted to show us something. He has such a sweet face and a wonderful personality, we love him. (He makes great sausage)

I had no idea what to expect, but was very pleasantly surprised when we found out that he wanted to introduce us to his family. The little girl likes me. His son wants to be a writer. It doesn't get much better than this.

I've been toying with the idea of writing a book about a spiritual journey with food. As I explained to the man at the Turkish store, the thing that crosses all boundaries, and we all have in common, is a love of food. He agreed.

So, now I have two books to write

The Turkish Islamic Cultural Center on Queens Boulevard promotes the arts, and our Turkish friend wants to introduce us to the man who runs it. He says they would find my books interesting. I hugged him :)

I think it would be wise to approach everything like a writer. People love when you show an interest in them, and their life.

I love this job

Loving the research :)

2012-01-08T21:36:00.000-08:00

Did you know, the oldest standing mosque in this country is in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and the oldest was in Ross, North Dakota? This was in the late 20s and 30s. What were they doing there? It makes me wonder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Mosque_of_America

Their records were destroying in a flood, which is a shame because we lost a bit of American history as well as Muslim history

How were the greeted? How were they treated? Why did they go where they did?

I love research
.
The other thing I've been up to, since the new book will be centered in NYC, is, I've been shopping at all the Middle Eastern stores in the neighborhood. Interesting places. Nice people. My favorite is owned by Two Romanians and a Turk, the meat department is run by Lebanese men, and the guy behind the register is a Jew from Israel.

The Indian spice store is run by a lady from Bangladesh, and the people who work there are Turkish and Romanian

Their products are excellent, half the price of supermarkets, and they're against genetically modified foods. They believe (as I do) that it's a sin to mess with the gifts we've been given.

Their bread tastes like bread, their butter tastes like butter, and their coffee and tea taste like that :)

When the store owners saw our interest in food, and we asked questions, they were very nice. They're not used to white people coming around asking for masoor dal or urad. Maybe, in the sparkly Middle Eastern stores on Queens Boulevard, but not the small neighborhood stores.

Every smoke shop, or 99 cent store around here is owned by Indian people for some reason, and in all of them, there's a corner, or aisle, dedicated to food from their country. I have rice and grains from all over the world. Got a quart of cold pressed extra virgin olive oil from Beirut today for $6. It's the same quality as the $25 organic :)

Life is good. Research keeps me learning, and loving

Oh, yeah, the wife is convinced I'm going to leave her for a Muslim woman :D

She does this with every book

In fairness, I have to look at people as my main character would. He falls in love with a Indian Muslim woman. It's not hard to see the beauty in people who treat you nicely, so, I've fallen in love a dozen times this week :)

I found an article about a Muslim woman who opened a clinic in North Carolina because it was her life's dream to treat women who couldn't qualify for health insurance. http://www.onislam.net/english/news/americas/454952-muslim-opens-free-clinic-for-carolina-poor.htmlCool lady

I sent chapter one to my favorite beta reader today, and she wants more :)

Life is good

Loving 2012

2012-01-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

New year, new attitude, same goal. I want to sell a book to one of the big houses.For that reason, I'm off memoir writing. I like telling stories, and I think mine are pretty good, and I appreciate everyone's support. But, memoir doesn't sell. Not to a top publisher.Not for my kind of story

Both of my agents said they liked the way my characters interact, and that I should write romance, so here I go. It's more of a love story than a romance, but it's also a political drama, complete with a psycho internet stalker, and a MC who has just woken up cured of addiction and mental illness, and he's elated, because he realizes that he's going to die

He talks to his cat. I gave the cat one line of dialog,"Rayo," because he meows through his nose.

The one thing that can mess up anything, is love, and Kyle's blissful trip to the other side is derailed.

I wrote a suicide note for this WIP that made my first beta reader cry

I think I'm on the right path :)

The Money and the damage done

2011-12-30T07:49:00.000-08:00

Deleted for a more positive blog :P

Happy New Year

2011-12-02T17:23:00.000-08:00

I figured I'd skip right to the end, beat the crowds.

That said, the year is getting a little long i the tooth. And, that got me thinking. And, that got me blogging. It's been another rough year. What's new? I'm getting good at dealing with it. I'm an Elan survivor. I'm going to outlast the cockroaches.

Anyway, it's been a great year in a lot of ways. I've sold over a hundred books with no promotion skills, and I've been bombarded with praise about my books. I'm humbled by the praise. It means the world to me. I thank you all for the opportunity to tell my stories.

But then I get to thinking again, and I'm left with a question. Where's the lawsuit?

I made it clear in A Life Gone Awry that I am not Gzasmyhero, the person Sharon Terry accused of negative attacks on her school. The person she credited with closing it down. But, I told her I was, and I've given Danny Bennison a dozen reasons to call a lawyer, but no lawsuit

. I accused him of sex crimes and he did nothing. Why? What the fuck are they hiding that they've done nothing?

But Elan is closed, and everyone has basically accepted that. I think we all know those secrets are buried so deep no one will ever find them. What happened in Poland Springs stays in Poland Springs.

But we have some great stories. Even survivors of other programs can't believe it.

We also have that toughness. We're going to be around for a while. Maybe some day someone will start digging. It'll be a hell of a story. Hopefully I'll be around for it.

I want history to show that my part in closing Elan was small. It was nice though. I got to shove it in their faces and walk away scot free.

Ya see, I don't think they covering up abuse, that wouldn't have much of an impact on a program that's closed. I think there's something financial that could cost them a fortune

I think a lot of things

Whatever you celebrate, I wish you the best. Happy Holidays. Happy Holy Days. Happy days. Make them all important.

Peace

A repost worth reposting

2011-11-30T17:45:00.000-08:00

http://jennaglatzer.blogspot.com/2011/11/child-molesters-lets-never-shut-up.html

Check this out. If you've been sexually abused or know someone who has, it's incredible

Jenna is awesome :)

Book # 3

2011-11-08T02:04:00.000-08:00

*

2011-09-25T18:48:00.000-07:00

A REPORT ON COMMUNIST BRAINWASHING

2011-09-23T05:53:00.000-07:00

Program survivors are being abused in survivor groups. “I survived the horrors of Aspen Ranch” Face Book group is a scam.

2011-08-31T06:40:00.000-07:00

Operation Liberation - A Message From Anonymous to WWASP

2011-08-21T15:40:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vk51G7qg1-8&feature=youtu.be

Operation Liberation - A Message From Anonymous to WWASP

2011-08-21T15:13:00.001-07:00

WWASP are among the worst of the worst

http://youtu.be/Vk51G7qg1-8

Expect them D

Making history

2011-07-29T21:41:00.000-07:00

A Life Gone Awry is now out on Amazon Kindle, Barnes and Noble Nook and in print on Createspace. 100% of the proceeds will go to CAFETY and the Jani Foundation to fight for the rights of children in programs

Links

Print https://www.createspace.com/3653704

Nook http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-life-gone-awry-wayne-kernochan/1032312454?ean=2940013152618&itm=1&usri=wayne%2Bkernochan&cm_mmc=AFFILIATES-_-Linkshare-_-je6NUbpObpQ-_-10%3A1

Kindle http://www.amazon.com/Life-Gone-Awry-School-ebook/dp/B005F69SV6/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311994752&sr=1-3

It will always be on the internet for free because awareness is as important as money. Thank you for your help

Another Book to Print

2011-06-15T22:26:00.000-07:00

I signed a contract today to put A Life Gone Awry: My Story of the Elan School into print. I asked Danny if he minded and he said no. The proceeds will go to organizations that fight abuse in programs. CAFETY and Program Watch are the first two on the list. If there's any real money more will be added.

Danny and I are moving on. There are kids being beaten and tortured every day in the name of therapy, for the purpose of making money. Autistic children are being beaten with sticks and killed by employees who couldn't get a cab drivers license in New York City. It has to end.

A Life Gone Awry will always be on the internet for free, so if you can't afford the book i understand. I can't. :D

But if you can afford to buy a copy the money goes to a good cause, and awareness is the real goal. It'd be cool of ya. Thank you

HR911 is dead

2011-06-11T17:06:00.000-07:00

http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h111-911Without being reintroduced, HR911 will not be voted on. That's how politicians avoid bad votes from following them around. They send it to a committee who kills it by refusing to talk about it.

To the cowards who let it die: Shame on you.

The people at CAFETY explained that the awareness that it brought to the subject was a huge win, and for that I'm happy. I hope I've been effective at getting the message out there.

The bill asked that felons not treat kids with mental illnesses and that they be treated with the same respect as any other hospital patient. I don't see why there would be any debate about that.. Obviously money is greater than I ever believed. I don't have any, so I wouldn't know.

If it's awareness they want, it's awareness they get :)

I'm OCD, yanno?

I'm an egotistical bestid

2011-05-28T05:16:00.001-07:00

Once I told a roomful of people that I'm beautiful and they groaned. This was at an AA meeting, so I felt betrayed because these were the people who told me that I should love myself, but the second I did, their reaction was demeaning.. I followed their disapproving response by saying, "I didn't say that I'm attractive, I said that I'm beautiful, and if you don't agree it's because you're not looking hard enough" and I left, never to return.

My advice to anyone who asks about happiness is that they should stay away from negative people.

One of the reasons I spend so much time on the internet is because it's a way of staying in touch with people who love me and encourage me to love myself. I'm speaking of course about my writer friends. When I say, "Hey, I'm getting good at this," they say, "Yes, you are." When I ask for help. they help. And when I thank them for that help they remind me of something I did for them, and I feel good about myself. It's the reason I love what I do. If you're not a writer, become one, the benefits are not always apparent to people outside the bubble.

There is a small percentage of writers who react negatively when you express a favorable opinion of your work, but they're few and far between. Still, I'll give them this: If they disagree, they'll show you how to become better, and in honesty they're beaten down by egotistical people with closed minds.

Recently--without AAs help--I celebrated 7 years off crack cocaine, and aside from my writer friends only one person acknowledged it. My sister Linda is the finest person I know. She should be a writer. Even if she wasn't very good at it, she has a spirit that we would all benefit from.

Recently Writers Amuse Me released my book Street Life: My Story, and though I've only sold a few copies, the people who have read it (including my father) have loved it. I take little of the credit. When I stumbled into Absolute Write, my writers group, I was terrible. So this blog post is for you guys. I am what I am because you took the time to teach me. You guys are beautiful. I wouldn't trade you for a dozen NY Times best sellers.

Thank you all :)

I'm back and I'm spreading the word

2011-05-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

"A spokesperson for the Oregon Department of Human Services (DHS) declined to discuss the details of the ongoing investigations, which include a second inquiry based on possible licensing violations. But according to 10 students, two separate parents and a part-time employee interviewed by TIME — some of whom are involved in the inquiry — Mount Bachelor Academy regularly uses intensely humiliating tactics as treatment. For instance, in required seminars that the school calls Lifesteps, students say staff members of the residential program have instructed girls, some of whom say they have been victims of rape or sexual abuse, to dress in provocative clothing — fishnet stockings, high heels and miniskirts — and perform lap dances for male students as therapy."

Sharon Bitz, executive director of Mount Bachelor Academy, should be boiled in oil

If your child has a drug problem, do your homework http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/17/how-to-find-the-best-drug-treatment-for-teens-a-guide-for-parents/#ixzz1EERJMzsM

UPDATE

2011-04-09T12:33:00.000-07:00

Cyber stalking

2011-04-03T08:44:00.001-07:00

The 2000 Violence Against Women Act made cyber stalking a part of the federal interstate stalking statute. Call 1-800-FYI-CALL

Cyber stalkers provoke angry responses to control their victim

Post this everywhere you can. Cyber stalkers target women and children

My first chapter on the publisher's website

2011-03-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

Check me out http://www.writersamuseme.com/

USA Today has the story

2011-03-24T12:15:00.001-07:00

http://www.wmtw.com/r/27297685/detail.html

Hurray for the innernets :P

2011-03-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

http://www.sunjournal.com/city/story/1004547

I'm back, with news

2011-03-22T17:57:00.000-07:00

I signed a three book deal with Writers Amuse Me, an e-publisher. I have a cover and am expecting a release date soon.

This is so cool :)

Losing internet

2011-01-14T23:07:00.000-08:00

I'll be back, but no time soon. Verizon's hidden charges were hidden from the wrong guy :P

WTF?

2011-01-03T20:04:00.000-08:00

The memories come flooding back, and again, I'm back to Pat Carlson

This is a gm, he's explaining what he was in Elan school for

_____________________________________

“Look at them!” Danny shouted. “Tell these people what the fuck you’re here for.”

“I took a kid into the woods, and…”

“What was his name,” Danny said, “He had a fucking name.”

“His name is Lucky.”

“No,” Danny said, “His name, “Was,” Lucky, go on, tell your peers what you did to Lucky.”

Pat said that he took Lucky—an eight year old boy—into the woods to molest him, and then freaked out and killed him. When he was done with the story, Danny said, “How did you kill him?”

“I hit him in the head with a rock.”

Danny stood up. “What else did you do?” He said. “Don’t make me pry every detail out of you.”

Pat told us that he knocked Lucky down beat his head in with a rock, kicked him, and stuck a laundry pin through his heart. Then, he covered him with leaves, and left him there. He spoke in a monotone, like he was describing a day at work.

“Tell them what the doctor said to you.”

“He said I would never get better.”

“He said that you’d do it again, didn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?” Danny shook his head. “You have no emotion in your voice at all…What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Pat then told us that his psychiatrist considered him a sociopath, and expected that he would kill again and again. Danny added quotes from his file as he told the story. Finally, Danny said, “Does anyone have any feelings about this?” to the house, and they charged him, and screamed in his face. It was the first time I joined in.

Then, Danny put him in the ring, as I wondered what good it would do. Pat was a serial killer. Élan’s abuse was only going to make him worse

______________________________________

Now, I'm not a psychiatrist, but I figured out that they're as fucked up as the rest of us. :D

Srsly. What sick bastard said, "Hey, let's let Elan beat the serial killer out of him."?

He stayed out of trouble for a few months, and they told him how good he was doing, and sent him home

I'd like to know what became of him

My overview

2010-12-29T17:02:00.001-08:00

Overview

A Life Gone Awry

A soliloquy of Love and Hate

By Wayne Kernochan

A Life Gone Awry is the story of my two and a half year stay at Elan School, a therapeutic community for emotionally disturbed adolescents, which has been in the media spotlight for abuse for over twenty years.

When Michael Skakel was indicted for the murder of his next door neighbor Martha Moxley in 2000, and residents from his house told the stories of Élan’s abuse on TV, once again, they ignored us kids at the bottom of the hill. Mike’s house was full of rich kids, and their families cared about what happened to them, so they had it easy compared to Elan Seven. We were the worst of the worst, and no one cared what happened to us. The abuses that happened there are referred to as, “Lies,” made up to sell a book. The truth about Elan is that the most outrageous stories are the ones that are true. It was an asylum run by the inmates.

At Elan School, football was a metaphor for life, without parole. As Mike was being tried for the murder of Martha Moxley, our other star running back, Wayne Weaver, was being tried for murder across town. Our halfback was Robert Gamble, who killed a man for being gay. His co defendant was Larry Rhodes, one of our defensive linemen. The coach’s pet was Pat Carlson, who raped and murdered an eight year old boy. Elan has stories to tell, and I’m one of the few left to tell them. This is a good book.

The heart of the story is provided by my director, Danny Bennison, who forced three students to say that they had sex with Wayne Weaver. Those three were Jane Tolar, Cathy Collins, and Willie Garcia. Elan made people admit to things that weren’t true all the time, but Willie was an offense that allowed me to get all three to admit that they lied a year later, as I spent the summer playing football with Wayne and Mike.

Danny didn’t like that the women in the house loved Wayne, and hated him, so he threatened and intimidated Willie into it to humiliate Wayne. Everyone knew, so when Danny was gone, we talked openly about the corrupt days, and false confessions.

Thirty years later Danny Bennison is trolling Elan survivor sites on the internet, and has threatened me for telling the truth about him. The internet has drawn the attention of Elan survivors, so now there are people that will support my allegations.

I had never done drugs, and had never been arrested, but I was put in with the worst of the worst. Doctor M. Scott Peck told my parents that Elan was the place to send me. I thought I was going to a private school. It’s a good story.

When Joe Ricci died I was relieved. I wasn’t the only one. All these years later, his death gives people comfort. In A Life Gone Awry the reader will understand why. Michael Skakel and his friends were the face of the students of Elan. They were the ones shown on TV. We were the ones they buried under the prison. This is our story.

___________________________________________________

So, whatta ya think?

Snippet

2010-12-28T11:38:00.000-08:00

The sink dripped slow and steady—drops of water counted off each second cold and calculated, like they had been programmed to grab each moment and hold it there temporarily: to be counted and filed in an overloaded part of my brain, with the specific intention of driving me crazy.

They were coming to let me out after two and a half years behind bars, and in spite of the promises and programs, and all the king‟s horses and men, they couldn‟t—and didn‟t—put me back together again. In fact, I was more broken than when we began.

The sun came through the window in the early morning, brilliantly. I turned to let it warm my face.

My six by ten foot space in the world was in G-Block of Connecticut‟s correctional institution on Jarvis Street in Cheshire: A new prison which housed younger inmates, whom they tried to reform. The cells were bigger, and the food was better than the old Cheshire building or the big boy prison in Somers, and it wasn‟t overpopulated, so life was tolerable. We had training programs, doctors and psychiatrists, and they gave us medication and therapy in an effort to reach one of us before it was too late.

I stood and stared out the window, at the robins digging in the yard. "Any time now," I said, "Any time now."

What the people with the keys didn‟t know is that they were letting go a monster: that for me it was already too late. As the clock ticked, and the faucet dripped, and time passed by—all I could think about was murder.
#

Subbed again :(

2010-12-18T15:15:00.000-08:00

Yanno, most writers would kill to have two books repped in less than a year, and I was for the first month of each. For me, this is hell. I'll tell the truth, doubt overwhelms me. The idea of book number two not selling sends me to a bad place.

I don't know if I can write another if this one isn't picked up. I'm sure I cant.

Good thing I'm writing it now :D

You didn't think I was giving up, did ya?

I'm back at it

2010-10-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

New blog. I haven't posted on this thing in a year, and I still don't know what to say. My life is in and out of the toilet more than the cat, but somehow it doesn't mean a thing. I've got nothing and I get nothing, so things have been tough. Without family, the wife and me would be fucked.

How do you get through it?

Ya put one foot in front of the other. You distract yourself by doing what you love. In the past year I've gone days without food because I was too proud to ask. I was wearing my welcome thin because our luck just wouldn't friggin turn.

Then I got the call. I was repped by a top notch agent, had the editors saying nice things, but that fucking luck wouldn't let go. In the end, it was the genre that was fucked.

Meh, I knew the odds going in. I had a shot though. I was represented by a guy who turns books into films about making a movie about a part of my life. He thought a TV movie was a good idea.

I didn't sell it, but I did that.

Hey , I tried.

Currently I have 12 proposal requests, two full requests, and a bunch of people telling me that I'm on the right track again. Street Life, is a better story, has better characters, and is better written.

Hey, I also had the benefit of an Ivy League editor. I paid attention. :D

If you've read this, I thank you.

I don't read your blogs, so why should you read mine?

In my defense, I'm color blind, so unless your blog is in black and white, I can't see it. I can't even edit this. :D

2009 in review.

2009-12-30T17:03:00.000-08:00

When this year started, I had just fired my agent, and I had just been rejected by Publish America. (yes, I was rejected by PA)

I had just joined Absolute Write, because someone suggested that I join a writer's group. I wasn't feeling real good about my future. Up until June of '08, I had never seriously considered trying to get published, and I hadn't written a word in 25 years.

'09 ended with my agent submitting my second book to 20 of the big publishing houses in the business. I say this wiith no hesitation. Absolute Write was the driving force behind my small success.

They say, "Behind every great man is a woman" For me there were a few. I wont name names, for fear of leaving someone out. They know who they are. (yeah, you)

Mac and the moderators, and my friends at AW mean more to me than they can ever imagine. I'm into the second half of my life, and I should be questioning things and regretting past indiscretions, and I should be bored and going through a mid life crisis.

Instead, I'm living a dream.

Thank you all. I couldn't ask for more.

A Wizard in your midst.

2009-12-19T20:35:00.000-08:00

When I lived with Herman Slater in the early 90s, he tagged me as the best conjurer he had ever met. I didn't much believe in magic, but I did see that what I used to dismiss as an abundance of coincidence, could be seen as conjuring.

I would go to the store, whice was empty all day, and take a handful of Tonka beans and smash them on the sidewalk in front of the store on a slow day, and 9 out of 10 times there was a crowd of customers in the place inside of an hour.

If I mentioned someone's name, they would appear out of the blue.

Alcohol and drugs quelled all that a long time ago, but recently I looked up 'Conjurer' in the dictionary, and the first definition was 'Wizard'

I'm Harry "fucking' Potter.

The ultimate irony.

2009-12-12T10:50:00.000-08:00

Turning that stupid box off helped me get out, lose weight, read, and write, and here I am, talking about a TV show. It's just an idea, but it's an idea I talked about with someone in the business. If it all goes to hell, I take these memories to my grave. I tried, I did. I had some success.

If I get the call. I leave my mark on the world.

I was here too.

I'm bored

2009-12-10T23:22:00.000-08:00

Now that The Driver is subbed, Jason said to take it easy and see what way editors might want to take this thing. I wrote him an e-mail tonight telling him that I can bring the second half of this book home. I can also write it as a novel if they hate it.

We got a reject today. the guy said he loved the trip back into old New York, but he wanted action. I'm bound by the truth, so I can't revise that. If they all want action, I'll go back to a novel, and give them action.

i'm flexible.

Going out

2009-12-04T08:49:00.000-08:00

We're at the final stage of editing, and then, this thing goes out today.

Holy fuck!

I'm really soaking this up. It's not like this is ever going to happen again. I've said that at every stage, at every rejection, along the way.

It's not the destination, it's the journey that counts. If i've learned one thing in all my years, it's to stop and smell the roses. Sometimes, they're not so sweet. Who cares? They're for reference. The sweet will be sweeter.

I'm spending the day afraid of a conjunction. "But"

Loved it but...

Publishable but.....

Fabulous but....

Fucking conjunction broke my heart a few times. I want to score. The next 'but' I want to hear is at the bank. "But I'll need to see two forms of ID..."

Where I'm at.

2009-11-22T17:31:00.000-08:00

It's hard to write memoir and not be encapsulated. I'm a selfish person by nature, I make no bones about that, it's human nature. I spend a lot of time thinking about the things that make me up and theanswer is, my experiences.

"I am what I am. I am my own, special creation. So come take a look, give me the hook, or the ovation."- George Hearn. La Cage aux folles.

When this all began, I saw a memoir as a good way to get someone to sit down and listen to my side of the argument. To keep their attention I needed two things. Good writing, and self exploration. I needed to make people react to what I was saying, so the story was good. The writing, that was the trick.

I think I did it.

And given time, I think I'll get better. I have more books to write, so I better. The only road up from published is a prize of some sort. I think I can do it. People might disagree, but fuck 'em, I don't have time for negativity. I want to write a literary masterpiece, and I'm going to lean on my AW buddies to do it. (More to come)

Note to doubters:
You may be right, but don't bet against me.

Alright, back to the submission edits.

Editors and beta readers and bears, "Oh my!"

2009-11-21T03:19:00.000-08:00

I've always wanted someone to read my book and say "Wow, I love your writing" and I don't mean the story alone, I mean the writing. To me there's no greater compliment because I take this thing very serious.

I love when my beta readers say it. I had one say "I want to fuck this paragraph, I want to mount it and make love to it, but that would be wrong because it's yours." It was a paragraph about me stepping out of a bar.

I wanted to mount her critique and make love to 'it.'

Beta readers have improved my stuff enough to garner ten minutes of how good my writing is from Jason last night. He loves the dynamic between the characters and the dialogue, and the way I interact with women. He asked if there are more sex scenes in the second half of the book :D

I thank the people who took time to help. My beta readers, the people on AW who generously share their knowledge and experience, and my wife who threw Strunk and White at my head a year and a half ago.

With all I know, and all I think I bring to the world, you guys complete me as a writer. I would be nothing without you.

On a lighter note.

2009-11-15T08:10:00.000-08:00

I was called by an agent yesterday. A good one.

He said he loved my writing, my voice and my description. He also said Black Dark wold get serious attention as a movie. I'm doing Snoopy dances.

That is all.

Wayne Interrupted

2009-11-14T00:53:00.000-08:00

When I was 10 years old I went crazy. I knew what reality was and knew how to function in your world, but I was crazy. I had OCD flashes of horrible violence, blood and razors. It was horrible.

I tried to kill my father. I put rubbing alcohol in his Listerine bottle. This may not sound like a lot to you, rubbing alcohol is pretty harmless to gargle with.

My father owned a bar. My mother knew that we knew people drank alcohol. She told me that if a person put rubbing alcohol in their mouth, they would die.

What kind of kid does that?

I've been sitting on the number of the cold case squad in the precinct in Brooklyn where it happened. I asked a friend if it was his daughter, after 30 + years, would he want to know something so horrible.

He shook his head no without hesitation.

We were sitting at Dustin Hoffman's kitchen table. Yeah, that Dustin Hoffman, I was painting his kids playhouse.

Anyway, do I call? My memory is so fucking weak. I don't know which building it even happened in. All I know is that someone got away with murdering the girl I loved.

I repressed the memory through the Elan School and prison. But in the end I had that memory come back to me. It was a long time ago and I've dealt with it through my writing, but to deal with it in RL after all these years. My legs get weak thinking about actually going and finding that building, that metal staircase. I have to admit, I'm afraid. I'd spit in your eye if I knew you could clobber me, but the idea of going back there after all these years scares the shit out of me.

I have a lot to think about.

She believes in me.

2009-11-11T17:30:00.000-08:00

For any single guys who don't know my wife I have news for you. You're going to have to settle for the second greatest girl in the world.

I posted a Kenny Rogers video "She believes in me" and it put things in perspective for me tonight.

When a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it you ask?? Yes, it' makes a noise. I know, because I was there. I was no one. I made a lot of racket, but she wasn't there to hear it, so I don't remember a lot of it. I remember it sucked.

I believe in myself. I believe that given enough time and 'right place-right time' and I'll be published. I don't boast though. This believing in myself stuff is all new to me. Maybe I'm just doing it wrong.

Screw success and fame and money and all. I've been with her for 13 years now and she still believes in me.

I win.

She's been gone now for 1 1/2 days and I'm finally convinced that we are a duras. I miss her complaining about how much I take her for granted. I'm starting to see her point.

Pulling what's left of my hair out.

2009-11-07T06:49:00.000-08:00

In the end I knw there are only two answers. I'm sitting here thinking about writing to this guy and saying "I can do this in third person pretty easy" and it dawned on me. A year ago I didn't know what third person was.

When I first joined AW I didn't know what any of you were talking about.

The journey is always better than the destination. I've lived long enough to know that. This past summerwas the greatest summer of my life--and I've had some great summers--because I stopped to smell the roses. I figure I don't have a lot of summers left, so I made this one count.

I'm doing the same with this process. If he says no, cool. I can write it better or different or whatever. I got my peeps, and I'll win because of the company I keep.

A big shout out to all of you. Without you none of this would have happened to me. For that I'll be eternally grateful.

So we hadlunch with an editor.

2009-11-04T06:02:00.000-08:00

The food and service were great. One of the universal truths "Food always tastes better when someone else is paying for it." There's another universal truth "You can be sexy at any age" :D

I recently posted my picture to AW and Face book. Needless to say, I've grown old. I didn't know that I had given the impression that i was anything but. I looked at the picture and said "Jesus Christ, I got old" My facial hair is grey, none of the rest of my hair is, but I let it grow in because it looks better with a shaved head. (Yes, I shaved my head the day before I was invited to lunch)

Anyway, I think the reason I don't realize how old I've gotten is because women like me. Gay men like me. I'm exactly the way I am online in real life, no bull.

I'm devoted to my wife. I'm a harmless flirt. I'm funny and loyal and a good guy to have on your side. Most of all, I can see that there are good things about myself that people are attracted to. I'm also humble enough to know that that part of my personality comes from my friends and family.

Am I sexy?

you bet your ass.

An apology to all Yankee fans.

2009-10-23T21:43:00.000-07:00

Last year at this time I was sitting in a three bedroom house with no TV set, and I had a manuscript that almost rose Strunk and White from their graves. I was rejected by Publish America--They put "YOUR MANUSCRIPT HAS BEED REJECTED" in the subject line of the e-mail. I was in bad shape when I wrote it. I had a heating pad duct taped to my shoulder and the doctor in the ER gave me morphine. I couldn't sleep because my back injury kept me from breathing when I tried to lay down.

I was vulnerable because I had just been illegaly evicted from my cabin in the woods and I couldn't find work. The truck blew two transmissions in three weeks, we were down.

But then Liz went and won two tickets to the World series. We didn't get to go to the game because we got sick, but we needed the money and sold them. We really could have got a ton of money for them, but we agreed to ask for what brokers were offering us, wjhich was low. We wanted to give the tickets to the fans. They were getting screwed by brokers.

We listened to every minute of the playoffs and series in that house on my stupid paint stained radio with a hanger for an antenna, and we reveled with out neighbors and friends around town. We listened to Harry Kalas make the final call of his life.

They're great people down there. I loved Philadelphia. I'm going to root for the Phillies because it was--despite having nothing--the best time of my life.

I wrote my second book during that time. Black Dark has gotten me in the door with the biggest agencies in the business. If things go well on November 3rd, I'm pretty sure it will be sold.

Beisball

2009-10-21T22:05:00.000-07:00

The Philadelphia Phillies are on their way to a second World Series. The Yankees stink.

The killer query letter.

2009-10-19T15:03:00.000-07:00

Dear agent,

I know where you live....:D

Best of luck,

Wayne

I've been called the king of the killer query letter. Am I? I don't know. I get a lot of attention with my one page single spaced ridiculousness, but I also have a great story to sell. There are books and courses that will help, but IMHO, Absolute Write is the bestest way to figure out how to get an agent's attention. If you can't write a killer query, your Pulitzer prize winning book will sit there in purgatory forever.

Why am I addressing this?

I have nothing else to do.

Let's do lunch

2009-10-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

In the past week I've been overwhelmed with requests for material. Two fulls, two partials, and lunch with an editor.

Did he say lunch with an editor?

Yes, I said lunch with an editor. I was invited to lunch with a senior editor from Kensington Press. I don't know if it will amount to anything more than free food, but he seems very nice and he seems interested in my book. *Fingers crossed*

How did I do it. Persistence. I've been rejected a few times so far--and I don't deal with rejection well--but I kept onward and upward and whatnot.

I studied Learning Writing With Uncle Jim, did the work, and I really like the results. Obviously I'm not the only one. I'd like to take the credit for this, but the credit goes to those who showed me how.

I hope to be able to share that knowledge with others someday. It was freely shared with me, so it's a way of paying it forward.

Peace.

Me

I wrote this today.

2009-10-14T18:37:00.001-07:00

The morning brought more rain and black skies. It hadn’t been sunny for a week, which was good because the rain distracted people’s eyes and minds. Evil loves the darkness, and I was beginning to see why. I had dark chores ahead, and it was a lovely day for a murder.

The hardest past of writing a memoir is that the MC doesn't get to slip out of sticky situations. The events are set, they're done, and the chore is to somehow make the reader not hate you.

I think I do that well or I would have trunked this book a long time ago.

A shout out to my friends at Absolute Write. Without you guys, I'd be stuck with ego alone.

Opening arguments.

2009-10-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

The thing I notice about most people's blogs is that they're not about me. I don't get it.

That's why I started this blog. I'm not going to bore you with the deep intimate details of my life. Gag. I'm going to drag you through the deep intimate details of my book.

Why would I do this publicly?

Because, I'm an attention whore.

Isn't the truth refreshing? I think so. The fact is this: I'm a writer. Forget the book: I'm the work in progress.This is my blog.